Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity.

I honestly kind of forgot I had a blog. Oops?
Today was fabulous. I hung out with Manda, and had Orange Julius. And then I came home and had a haircut. I love haircuts. Especially the part where the stylist shampoos my hair. That's just lovely.  :)
ALSO. Glee was just amazing today. *well, yesterday. but I watched it today*
And to top it all off, I got my university acceptance letter today! :D
Such a good day. I'll have to work hard to top this. :)

The End.

Hey Blog.
I'm sorry for being annoying and spamming you twice in one day. But it's been a fabulous one, and now that it's come to an end, I'd like to open up a bit more. Turns out, a pound of bacon and a pan of brownies will do that to a girl.

I spent three years with one guy; dreamed of marrying him. We didn't break up horrendously. We still loved each other, but we so weren't on the same page. I know that in the long run, it was for the best. But some days, even though I'm not ridiculously head-over-heels in love with him anymore, I regret alot of things about our breakup and how it went down. For example, we talked about almost nothing - not our issues, or what bothered us. It was very... straight to the point, we're not working; change of Facebook relationship status. Done.
Now, I try very hard to surpress my inner Mennonite. I've mentioned I don't need to settle down, get married, and pop out a million babies instantly. But tonight, like many other nights, waiting for the right guy seems impossible. I just want a little affection. I want a hug, a cuddle, a kiss on the head. I want to fall asleep next to a warm boy (no sex, thanks, just a lovely cuddle and sleep). -sigh- I want a little love, Blog.

I know, I know. I have a few very good friends, including Manda ( http://animatedartist.blogspot.com/ ), who sat through six and a half Tim Burton movies with me today. I also have Shelby, who understands my disjointed thought process better than most.

BUT. I'm going to bed for real now. Work and such in the morning. I leave you with a quote from a favourite song, Your Call - Secondhand Serenade.

"And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home."

Burtonstock 2011

Burtonstock '11 is a success.
It's been epic, ladies and gents.
And we're not even finished yet.
:D

In other news, I realized something today: I don't love him anymore!
I care about him, yes. But I'm not hopelessly, head over heels in love.
It's a freeing feeling.
But I keep kind of hoping that he wants me back sometimes. It'd be a nice ego boost to know he misses me.

"I keep telling myself, I keep telling myself I'm not the desperate type."

Mm. Fall Out Boy.

I'm off, Blog. This is lame, but I'm too into Sleepy Hollow to post anything real.

Gone Forever

I can take absolutely no credit for the words I type in this post. I'm sharing a song that has gotten me through a lot in the past few months, because I feel it speaks to me, and I hope others will find the same comfort in it as I do.

Don't know what's going on,
Don't know what went wrong.
It feels like a hundred years, I
Still can't believe you're gone.
So I'll stay up all night
With these bloodshot eyes,
While all these walls surround me
With the story of our lives.

(chorus:
I feel so
Much better,
Now that you're gone forever.
I tell myself
That I don't miss you at all.
I'm not lying,
Denying
That I feel so much better.
Now,
That you're gone forever.

Now things are coming clear;
That I don't need you here.
And in this world around me,
I'm glad you disappeared.
So I'll stay out all night,
Get drunk and fuck and fight,
Until the morning comes, I'll
Forget about our life.

(Chorus)

First time you screamed at me
I should've made you leave.
I should've known it could be so much better.
I hope you're missing me.
I hope I've made you see
That I'm gone forever.

And now, it's coming clear
That I don't need you here
And in this world around me
I'm glad you disappeared

I feel so much better
Now, that you're gone forever
I tell myself that I don't
Miss you at all

I'm not lying, denying
That I feel so much better now
That you're gone forever

And now, you're gone forever
And now, you're gone forever
I feel a little lame, not posting anything most people would call real. But to me, those words are the most real things I've heard in a long time. Pretty much everything on this album makes me feel. Which doesn't happen very often anymore, I'm afraid.

I leave you with that, Blog. YouTube it. There is no real video, that I know of. But the words, the music... it's best at a high volume.

Life starts now.

I'm ridiculously beyond excited.
Three Days Grace is coming to the city, and for once, I'm going. :D
This band has gotten me through a lot of shiz. When I'm mad, or sad, or even happy, I listen to them. Loudly. In my very not-soundproof car. And my even-less-soundproof bedroom. Their lyrics are totally relatable.

I'll be the first to say that now I'm okay, and for the first time, I've opened up my eyes.

I'm going to be super-crazy fan girl. But I refuse to go into the mosh pit. Because when I'm surrounded by people like that... I get crabby.

On a completely unrelated note, I want fresh perspective from HONEST, but NOT MEAN eyes. If you have a fanfiction membership, please go read this: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6525598/1/bLory_b_bPotter_b_and_the_Philosophers_Stone.
That'd be epic. Now, just fyi. I update about once a month. And I don't have a beta, because I don't really do well with co-authoring.

PEACE.

Did I fall asleep? Is this all a dream?

Have you ever noticed how very difficult it is to express exactly how it is you feel?
For example, today I felt... well, to use a word I recently told a friend to punch in the nose... inadequate. I did not feel up to par in the least. I felt fat, and unattractive, and alone.
But tell me, why do I have to feel these things? Just because I'm a little bigger than most girls my age, or require beauty aids to feel like I can even be in some of my friends' presence? Well, yes, I do hate myself, just a little. But you know what people don't understand?
I love myself more than I hate myself.
I've been moderately unhappy for close to a year, and now I'm happier than I've been in a loooooong time. So I need to keep telling myself that I'm good enough. But it's hard, when I'm surrounded by people that meet society's standards of gorgeous, and all I've got going for me is good hair.
So, in order to better myself, I've come up with a workout regime. And by workout regime, I mean I bought a $5.00 DVD at Wal-Mart, and do that for 20 minutes a day, three times a week, and eat less. Not that I ate a tonne before, but now I'm eating better. And I'm not drinking pop. So... maybe that'll help?
Bah.
I'm off to wallow in self-pity somewhere else.
Goodnight, Blog.